Get the Best YOU Forever | Live a Better Life

Beating Limiting Belief Blues!

You know you have them! Most of us do! Those darn pesky old limiting beliefs. They are like irritating mosquitoes in our life. They suck the life out of us, in whatever area we are most stuck in. Grab your bug spray (me), it is time to clear the air! Allow me to show you that you do have the power to change and shift this!

Limiting beliefs keep you from what you really want!

What will it take to……….. get rid of limiting beliefs?

I will show you and shine the light.

First…. (let me test your willingness)

Would you like to beat those limiting belief blues????

If you answered “Yes”, then keep reading. It is so easy to beat these blues. It is only one thought away!

Why do we have limiting beliefs? It is important to know that they were originally designed to keep you safely in your comfort zone.  Thank them. Bless them. They were formed as you were operating from what you “knew” to be true. (Supposedly) Usually they are based on the past or from what others have convinced you of. The past does not define your future. I bet you realize that they aren’t true by now… RIGHT? Even so, you find them showing up over and over. How exhausting!

First you must know that a belief is only a thought you keep thinking.  This will require a bit of “mind- training”. You are the creator of your own reality. How about we create and generate something else?

Repeat this out loud:  “ A belief is only a thought I keep thinking. “

                                “  A belief is only a thought that I keep thinking.”

                                “ A belief is only a thought that I keep thinking. “

Now say: “ And NOW I can choose to think a different thought! “

Yes, here is your opportunity to be free from yourself. Choose a different thought!

Give credit where credit is due…..(Abraham-Hicks the Vortex explains this in more detail.)

Abraham will tell you that limiting beliefs are based on a false premise. This is like a wrong thinking foundation of which you built this limiting belief.  Someone may have told you this belief or you may have concluded this belief from past events.

Step 1: BE willing to let go of limiting beliefs

Step 2: Do this mind directed soul-work that I call the double 7 steps on the belief:

1. So let’s take a limiting belief of yours…. ___________________

Note: This is very similar to The Work, from Byron Katie, if you want to use her amazing free worksheet just go to: http://www.thework.com/downloads/worksheets/onebelief_033110.pdf. She is awesome! She will help you resolve deep issues with your ego.  

1. Is your limiting belief true?_____________
2. 100% true?_______ or maybe only 99.9% true?_____(NOTE: if not 100%, then it is not true)
3. Was it true in the past?________
4. Does it have to be true in your future?______
5. Who did this limiting belief belong to in your life?___________________________
6. How do you feel when you think about this limiting belief?________________
7. What kind of person do you become when you operate from this limiting belief?_______
8. How are you held back by this limiting belief?______________________________________
9. Who could you be without this limiting belief?_____________________________________
10. What actions or risks would you take?_________________________________________
11. Tell me the opposite of this limiting belief?________________________________________
12. Write a statement  that will be your new mantra(same as above):___________________________________
13. What is your new UNLIMITED belief?(same as above)_______________________

This is what they call “fake it until you make it”. Get comfortable with this newness. Since a belief is only a thought you keep thinking (based on a something or someone else), you can now choose to think the opposite thought. This new belief brings more things that match it.

Sonya’s secret to fully releasing limiting beliefs:

In order for this not to creep back up on you we must get a hold of all your Reasons, Justifications, Decisions and Conclusions as they show up in your life’s journey.

TIPS: Quit looking for evidence that your old limiting belief is true. That is an old bad ass habit that needs to be identified and discarded. Catch yourself doing this.

DO: Look for evidence that this new belief is true. Look for proof! Always! (thought first, evidence next)

DO: Keep your mantra or positive affirmation handy.

DO: Do this long enough until you actually think it!

DO: Give your attention to the wanted thing. Forget about the unwanted things.

DO: Believe that you have personal power over how you choose to think!

Self -forgiveness: Is self-forgiveness really where it is at? Or is there something else?

After working with several clients I am finding that self forgiveness is a huge piece to unlocking keys to their immediate relief and overall long-term happiness.  Even more so, I am finding that if I can successfully facilitate my clients to stop blaming themselves, I can get them to a new more powerful place of peace. This is a place of peace they have never known and it is more lasting. How powerful is this new discovery? Keep reading if you would like to get there and end a bit of unnecessary suffering.  

While self-forgiveness is nice, it also assumes that you have something “wrong” to forgive yourself for. What if you weren’t wrong? What if there is no right and wrong?   Isn’t it true that you don’t have the whole picture of how everything eventually works out? Doesn’t that release the need for you to forgive yourself in the first place? Doesn’t self forgiveness make you wrong to the point where you may have to continually try for MORE self-forgiveness?

Here is a tool to find out if your best remedy is self-forgiveness work or releasing blame work. No matter what is coming up for you (divorce, lost job, argument, financial issues, etc- you pick the topic)

Would you feel better if …….you fully forgave yourself?

Or

Would you feel better if …….you stopped blaming yourself?

Quick TIP! – Stop blaming yourself!

Is it possible for you that a solution better than attempting self-forgiveness work is to stop blaming yourself in the first place? Are there things that you are blaming yourself for? Is that why you need to forgive yourself?

Let’s explore:

Did you do all that you could based on only the things you knew at the time?

If you were wiser and more aware wouldn’t you have chosen differently?

Didn’t you only know what you knew at the time?

The message here is that we all operate from only the perspective we have at the time. Perhaps we did know better but in reality we only knew better to some extent. Knowing better a little bit was not enough. Is it true that you really knew better?  Or is it true that you did not know fully to take different action? Sometimes learning the “hard way” is really the only way to learn our lessons to the fullest extent. Sometimes it is the total rock bottom of life that is the only way for us to spring upwards.  Honor the fact that your bottom may be deeper than you would expect.  This lesson if for those who are taking on more self-blame than they have to. Most often I find that people are not pointing the finger outward with blaming others but rather pointing the finger inwards at themselves. What if we could not point a finger at all? How good would that feel? We don’t have to make someone wrong all the time.

I challenge you to stop blaming yourself for things that you originally thought required self-forgiveness. While taking responsibility for your thoughts, feelings and actions is valuable, continually beating yourself up is not going to help you learn the lesson and move forward.

If self-forgiveness was your answer, find a deep place of compassion for yourself. Remind yourself that only you know what you have been through. You are your own best expert on you. Only you can validate what you are feeling and why. You know your path, struggles and obstacles. Find a place of compassion for you. See all this as opportunities to learn and grow. Who would you be if you fully forgave yourself? What would you do if you completely forgave yourself? What will you do differently next time?

Self-forgiveness Letter: Write a letter to yourself to fully forgive yourself and then release this energy out of your mind and body. A great thing to do is burn the paper and let the energy go back out into the universe.

Copywright 2010- Sonya Boesse, Life Coach

If you would like Life Coaching on this issue, please send me an email to BestYouForever@yahoo.com

I hope this helps.

Do you have a case of the “whys“?

(Disclaimer: I am not a doctor.)

Why me?

Why did he do that?

Why did this have to happen to me?

Why can’t I have that?

Why does she get to have that?

Why should I have to do this?

Why can’t things be easier for me?

Do you find yourself saying any of the above statements? If you have this common virus which I like to call, coming down with a case of the “whys”, then you could be stuck in a victim mentality. Not all questions that start with why are bad ones to ask. However, I have witnessed clients use this question and word (before working with me) in a detrimental, self-induced sickness way. I feel compelled to shed light on this issue to help people battling their why symptoms and hopefully offer some relief to any sufferers out there. From my own personal experience and training, practicing and reciting the whys only spins us around in a circle. Chances are you will never get anywhere with whatever issue is plaguing you if you are continually asking why.

Would you like to get out of victim mentality and eliminate the word “why” from some of your vocabulary? Is it time for you to break free of your Why Syndrome? Then let’s begin to identify areas of your life where you find yourself saying it in an un-useful manner. Fill in the blanks below:

Why does ____________?

Why can’t I have___________________?

Why did _______________ happen to me?

Allow me to gently inform you that there is a good chance that no one will ever know exactly why. Even more so, you may never get an answer. So take a deep breath (with me here) in the uncertainty and unknowingness. Perhaps there is no answer. With that said, do you want to spend your life waiting and whying for an answer that no one can give you?

It is important to know that when you are asking why, you are in fact complaining. When you are in complaint mode you can’t get anywhere but where you are. Complaining keeps you stuck. Asking why keeps you stuck. I challenge you to catch yourself when you start asking why and then use these phrases to remedy your whying.

“It does not matter why.”

“I may never know why.” (Additional add-on: “and it is alright this way”.)

“I don’t know what this is all for.” (because you do not hold the BIG PICTURE of all of life’s events)

If you catch yourself with this common case of the whys and want a quick remedy simply use your knowledge that asking why is not helpful to you but rather more damaging. It may put a stop to your whying. Awareness is a key to unlocking the doors to good mental and physical health. If left unattended or untreated, whying can turn into a very contagious bad habit. Open up your awareness and begin to “catch” yourself whying either out-loud, to a friend or even more self-destructive, in your mind. I encourage you to wash down this whying with a few of the good suggested phrases above to help ease your mind and calm the negative voice inside you. This will require a bit of trust, commitment to self-care, awareness and skill.

Here is a helpful creative way to view whying which will allow you to see how it could contribute to your overall sickness and symptoms. Each time you say “why”, think of your temperature going up a degree until you are running a high fever of whys.  You will know when you have a high-temperature due to a case of the whys because you just will not feel good.  That is how you will know.  Just like your efforts to keep your body healthy, keep your temperature controlled by monitoring the number of whys you express.  If you need a reminder you could put a rubber band around your wrist to snap it every time you say the word “why” in an unproductive way.

On a side note, know that you can transform the activity of complaining into a better way to express yourself and still receive validation from others. Try out brief venting sessions with a trusted friends who will not allow you to continue asking “Why?”, especially about things that have no answer in sight. You could also create for yourself a support system by proactively seeking out the listening ear of a venting buddy who will help you break free of continually re-telling your story of woe that is plaguing you with un-healthy whys.  An even better option is to hire a Certified Life Coach to support you in this journey into a NO WHY ZONE.  Life Coaches are not only skilled at listening but can offer you specific tools to support you as you seek relief and a cure.

A simple self-help solution:

For the sake of this exercise let’s say that there are good questions and bad questions. Let’s further say that there are right questions to ask and wrong questions to ask. When you experience a negative situation or thought followed up with you asking why,  know that you could be  asking the wrong question.  So I am loading you up with a few good questions to ask instead. Again, you may not have the answer to these questions. That is OK. The point of asking these good questions is not to have answers but rather to get you asking the right questions in life. Asking the right questions sets you on a positive path of possibility thinking. It will raise your vibrational energy from a low frequency (sad, depressed, hopeless) to a higher frequency (inspired, hopeful, open to possibility). Most importantly, these good questions can provide instant relief!

Here are a few good questions to keep handy as replacements for your “whys”.

“What else is possible?”

“What will it take to change and shift this?”

“How does it get better than this?”

“Who does this belong to?” (Note: If it is not yours, promptly- RETURN TO SENDER!)

Good luck on identifying, diagnosing and self-treating your case of “whys”!
I hope this helps!

Your Life Coach, Sonya Boesse

Copyright material @2010

To get more support on this issue, please send me an email to BestYouForever@yahoo.com to get a sample Life Coaching Session!

Let’s get E-X-C-I-T-E-D about life!

Your new life. Your best life ever!

Your New Life Story and Opportunity to Shift:

Join me in this challenge to re-write a new life story for yourself. Ever notice that you could explain your childhood or life from two completely different angles? Sometimes, depending on the mood I am in, I have a really bad version of my life thus far. However, in a different mindset I could tell you a beautiful version of hope, love and happiness. The difference between the two versions is so big that it does not sound like the same person’s childhood at all! Friends will often get confused and ask: “Who are we talking about now?” Have you ever wonder what the deal is with this phenomenon? Let me explain.

This is a good example of the difference between functioning from Fear or from Love. A much happier more perfect version arises from you when you speak it from a place of Love. I challenge you to write your new life’s story from this place of Love and perfection. Claiming that everything is just how it was supposed to be with the following things in mind:

1. You were happy
2. All the “bad” situations turned out to be blessings in disguise
3. Everything worked out perfectly and in perfect timing
4. The people you crossed paths with were your best teachers of whatever you needed to learn
5. Without certain events occurring you wouldn’t be the person you are today
6. Identify the coincidences and synchronicities from the past that led to the present
7. You are happy now

This exercise is a great mood booster! If you ever get asked about your life, have this happier version of you to tell. Why is this so important? Because what you say out loud matters. It matters to your subconscious mind, your friends and The Universe. You want to be practicing The Law of Attraction right? Well here is your chance to send out positive energy and attract more of that back. Your life story is a great place to start.  I challenge you to have the best version of you available to speak/share at any given moment.

Want to quantum shift with me? Optional challenge: Write a statement about the YOU you want to be. Make it something you are reaching towards and in the process of becoming. Then say this statement out loud and have it handy. Once you line up with your best version of you, you can own that power and claim those rights. It is as if you are becoming this vision of you, right before your very own eyes. What is it going to take for you shift?  It may happen in an instant or over time. All you have to do is have this version of you available. Here is an example of a personal shifting statement.

I am a Life Coach, writer, yoga and meditation teacher and self-help/self-love workshop leader. I get paid very well to share my gifts with the people that need me the most. I finally know what my message is and I deliver it well. I attract all the best clients and friends to support me on my own personal growth journey. I enjoy luxuries, love, romance and weekend get-a-ways. Occasionally, I travel to spread my message and enjoy spreading the message of love and hope to my local community. My book is being written and I am so happy and grateful for my grace through this transition time to do this work.  Life feels like a magic circle of wonder and amazing synchronicity.  I love how my work life blends so well with my personal life! My best feelings arise when my clients or students tell me beautiful stories of hope, healing and miracles!

Good luck in writing your own best vision of your personal shifting statement. It worked wonders for me and I know it can work for you. As they say, “It works if you work it, so baby, work it! YOU ARE worth it!”.

Copywright 2010- Sonya Boesse, Life Coach www.BestYouForever.com